So the story of how Cara came to be is going to be a long one...be prepared or probably move on to the next post haha.
Cara (previously known as BB) was breech for most of the pregnancy (probably all, but it's hard to say). They kept warning me that we needed to get her flipped at each appointment and I did all I could. We tried spinning baby stretches, I tried putting frozen veggies on the top of my belly, I asked around and people mentioned crawling...I probably could've been more diligent, but things started to hurt so I could only do so much. It didn't surprise me when I went in for my 38 week appointment and they told me she was still breech and they'd want to schedule an External Version (basically attempting to flip the baby from the outside). They had told me at previous appointments that they'd give me an epidural, do the version and if they were successful they'd induce me right then. If not, I'd have a C-Section right then, but either way we'd know that that's when we'd start bringing her into this world.
At the appointment they told me they'd schedule it for May 1st, since that's what they had as my 39 week point. Really my math said it should've been the 3rd, but I knew she was ready to come out and I was ready to be ready (plus they had tried to do the math before and according to them I would actually be past 39 weeks at that point...I wasn't going to argue). I left the appointment, got my hair done, and went home to tell Larry the good news "So...how do you feel about becoming a dad on Monday?" It was SO cool to have a day to tell him and I could tell he was happy to have a date as well (it made it easier to get work situations figured out and really get prepared). I text family and close friends to let them know and we made a plan for our final weekend before everything would change (I got a pedicure, we finished our grocery shopping for the month, we got house things updated/fixed that needed it, and gave extra loves to the kitties).
Monday morning came around and I don't think I have ever been so nervous for anything in my life. Our version was scheduled for 6:45 and I had to stop eating/drinking anything at 10 PM the night before. I guess it was good I had nothing in my belly because as we were walking through the lobby of the hospital and I was passing patients I wondered if I could really do this. I knew I HAD to, I really didn't have a choice, but I was wondering what it was going to be like, thinking she'd be born probably by 7 that night. We got checked in, they escorted us to our room, I changed into my lovely hospital gown, and Larry went to get our bags...we were in for a long night!
I don't remember exact timing, but we had time to sit and talk about how crazy this was and how weird it felt to think we were going to have a baby soon. We eventually turned on the TV and hung out. Nurses and one of the midwives I've seen (Claudia) came in to get my vitals, talk about how exciting this was, grab some of the candy we brought for them, and just get everything ready. The anesthesiologist came in to do my epidural and I was surprised with how easy and painless it was. I was shaking a bit (from my nerves and hunger I'm sure) so I was nervous about her stabbing into my spine with me shaking, but she said I was doing good and got it in with no issues. Shortly after, my old dr (who had moved to the midwife clinic) came in to say hi and get the version going. They pulled out the sonogram machine and she checked to see Cara's placement and how much fluid I had. She said the fluid was looking so good and touched my belly (Larry says they were full on pushing into it, but I didn't feel it at all...epidurals are wonderful!). About 1 minute later (IF that) I heard "okay, she's head down. We're good to go now." What? That's it? That's what everyone had me freaking out about? Aside from birth that was my second biggest fear with how it would go and it was one of the easiest things I've ever had to go through!
Here's where we start to get detailed, I want to remember this forever so I'm adding everything I can recall...just a warning.
They broke my water after the version stating that it would make it more difficult for her to "swim back around" if she had less fluid in there. I was just taking things in as they went so I went along with that. Apparently a lot came out because they kept calling me a "streamer". I had to laugh a little at that...apparently I know how to hold my fluids in haha. I was finally able to eat or drink a little, but only popsicles, "jello" (they called it that, it was really frozen flavored applesauce/slush stuff), and juice. I chose the slush stuff and water...it felt AMAZING to finally have something in my system. Unfortunately they gave me something (I wish I could recall what it was) and said that if I got lightheaded or nauseous to let them know because it could mean my blood pressure has dropped. I figured I'd be okay...and then I got so nauseated I threw up the whole slush and water I had finally been given. My blood pressure hadn't dropped TOO much, but it was enough that they had to give me epinephrine to combat the sickness.
After that they started the Pitocin and we just waited. I kept close family and friends updated via text about each step of the way so I knew it was going to be a long waiting game. I was okay with this, she could take her time, I knew she was ready to be born and it would happen when she was ready. The nurses would come check on me every couple of hours and update me. At first they were only concentrating on my effacement (I hope that's a word!) saying I was dilating, but I won't get too far if I'm not completely effaced. Once they started only updating me on my dilation I realized I must be going and going. I was progressing enough that they seemed impressed. They said that she definitely wouldn't be there by the afternoon, but I was moving right along and there was only a small chance she'd be born the following day. I felt like superwoman at that point since contractions didn't hurt me at all. They made me feel like I had to go to the bathroom, but I had a catheter in so I was wondering if maybe it wasn't working (it was...I ended up giving them a bag and a half, which they made sound like that was a ton...guess I was good a losing fluids too haha). I remember Larry joking we'd have 9 kids and I told him if contractions felt like that I'd totally have 9! Unfortunately, part 2, that was NOT the case at all. Eventually I'd feel that "need to pee" feeling very closely followed by the pain of the contraction. I realized I was no longer lucky and I'd definitely be abusing my epidural demand button haha
So button pushed every once in a while just to keep me comfortable, a nurse visit every hour-ish to let me know I was dilating about .5 cm each "visit", a TV on (the first thing we switched to was TBS that had the Friends episode where Carole has Ben...I took that as a good sign), and a husband who would get me a thing of slush at every whim...I was doing good. I had to lay on my side (for obvious reasons) and at one point they told me to stay on my right side because she was responding better to that side (the left side she was just a tiny bit in distress). They ended up putting in a second catheter to monitor the contractions better because her HR would dip AFTER the contractions and that wasn't normal. It didn't dip a lot, but they didn't want to see that if they could change it so a second one was put in.
At one point the contractions were hurting again so we pushed the epidural button and all of a sudden this sharp, awful pain was in my upper back, between my shoulder blades, and it would KILL me everytime I moved my neck to check the contraction machine. Oh man I had SUCH a hard time with that, it got to the point that it felt like my lungs weren't working and I had to force myself to breath deep breaths to make sure they were. It also felt like something was squeezing my spine. Larry pushed the button and called the nurses/midwife in and they were stumped. They said it couldn't be the epidural since the pain was too high. They got me ice and rubbed around it and the pain eventually went away so they chalked it up to a muscle spasm. They started to monitor my vitals more after that and saw I had developed a fever. They assumed (yes I'm saying assumed because they never tested) that I developed an infection from my water being broken so early (at this point it was past 5 so I was going on 11 hours of labor) and so they had to add more medicines to my IV...that was fun. Everyone left us and we went back to watching tv (tons of Family Feud and TBS shows were watched along with their movie channels) and playing the waiting game. I've never been more patient in my life. After a while, I was feeling the contractions again so we pushed the button and the pain in my back came back. I KNEW it had to do with my epidural at that point so we called the nurses and midwife back in (I felt bad that I was crying so much from the pain, but I couldn't help it and they all seemed lost). They had no idea what it could be, but called the anesthesiologist (a new one this time since my original one had left for the day) so he could see what was going on. There was a lot of "let's try this and give it time and see what happens" "That didn't work" "Okay let's try this then" for a few hours when they finally decided I needed a second epidural to see if the first one was hitting a nerve of some sort.
Let me tell you, getting an epidural doesn't hurt, but you HAVE to sit up and curl to get it in and when yo have TWO catheters in, sitting up, straight, and curling is REALLY hard. Again, I was nervous something would go wrong since I felt like I wasn't sitting right, but they were able to get it in without any issues. I felt the same tingly, warm leg feeling as the first one so I felt content that this would work. I laid back and just waited for it to kick in. Unfortunately, it only helped the pain in my upper back and I could still feel the contractions (and even had a new pain my right hip). We tried flipping sides, we tried waiting it out, we tried many different dosages of the medicine, nothing was helping the contraction pain. Finally, I decided to lay on my back but at a higher level so that I wasn't cutting oxygen off to the baby, but could try a new position. The anesthesiologist came in with what I will call an epidural cocktail and it worked WONDERS! I was SO happy to not feel anything again!
Unfortunately, part like 8 at this point, I couldn't lay that way for long as the HR was dropping on the baby again and they weren't seeing what they'd like. I had a new midwife (Erica) at this point so she was telling me that they weren't seeing what they'd like and I was now progressing too slowly. They had to stop the Pitocin earlier in the day because it was causing distress to the baby as well so I was going natural and it just wasn't going fast at all. I was SO exhausted at this point (we were napping maybe for 10 minutes every hour and this was around midnight-ish) that I was open to suggestions. She made it sound like they would have to go the C-Section route, but she never said the words. She just said they'd check with the physician on call and see what they said. When she came back about an hour later she said the physician was okay with my progress and told them to keep going this way. I was so happy to hear that. I didn't NOT want a C-section, but if I could do this without one I would be much happier. It was really about what's best for the baby, but I wanted to know I could do this. I continued dilating .5 cm at each visit, so it was slow going. Finally they decided to up the Pitocin and keep upping it to get labor going and just take it slowly to see if the baby would be okay. This seemed to do the trick, but I was still dilating slowly, the contractions were just coming along quicker, which was a good sign.
Around 6 the next morning we reached shift change and I had another new midwife (Josi - who I had seen in office and really liked) - so we were on our third round of midwives/nurses and in the hospital for 24 hours for those keeping track - even they were getting antsy to see me have this baby! Deciding to up it must have done the trick because I went from a 6.5 to a 9.5 within the hour or two they took to check on me (the fastest I had progressed).
At this point I was thinking "okay, I'm going faster. We're almost to the end." But I don't think I comprehended what "the end" really was. I think in my head the end was to be a 10 and then something would happen (like I would have that pressure feeling or something that said my body had changed and was ready) and then I'd have to push. So imagine my surprise when they came back a half hour later to check (it's 9 AM at this point) and said "well girlie, we're happy to report that you are ready to push". I felt like I immediately stopped breathing and then checked the monitors...that's it? I'm just ready to push? Isn't there some sort of "level up" thing I'm supposed to go through before I'm just "ready to push"? It was the weirdest thing to hear and comprehend in my life.
Pushing did NOT go fast. I felt like I was getting light headed every time. I got so discouraged because the movies lie! It's not like 3 pushes and the baby is out. Waiting for each contraction was both nice and annoying at the same time. I wanted to keep going, but I so needed the break between each push. I was so exhausted I was trying to sleep or rest my eyes as much as possible between each contraction. Feeling the pain I didn't want to feel and being so sleep and food deprived took it's toll on me. I questioned whether I could really see this to the end (being brutally honest here!). After an hour of pushing they decided I needed to sleep. They kept saying I was doing good, but I'm sure I was hardly doing anything so they thought I needed the rest so much. I've never been so thankful for an hour long nap in my life! Starting back up at 11 we went back to pushing. I had felt the baby drop and all the pressure "down there" that I knew she had wriggled her way closer to the end and this should go better. An hour of pushing later though I wondered if I should ask for a C-Section. I was still pretty tired, I was getting light headed with my pushes, I was just doing what I could to get them to say I was doing a good job. I decided it would be better if I saw this through since I had already been through so much and she was definitely in the birth canal I doubt they would've done a section at that point. Josi finally made the decision to give me an episiotomy. She told me she was going to do it and I was worried since I knew I was going to feel it all. As awful as that sounded I'm SO glad she made that decision because once she did that the baby basically fell right out of me and into Larry's arms.
They laid her on my arms, washed her off, and (after a minute) let Larry cut the umbilical cord, and I remember thinking "She's SO huge!" I was expecting a 7 1/2 pound baby, but she was a full human and seemed so big. Then they measured her and I thought "oh man, she's SO tiny!" I also remember thinking "okay, so that's the little thing that's been pushing around in there. Responding to music and my voice, making me so sick in the beginning, and tired in the end. That's the person I've been talking to this whole time...interesting". It was such a surreal experience going through labor and finally having this baby in my arms. The nurses kept telling Larry to take this picture and that picture to remember all of the details...he got a lot of good snapshots in that we could send family to let them know she was here. Unfortunately (again) they had to take her to the NICU to give her an IV for the infection and check her blood so she wasn't with me for too long. Larry went with her to keep an eye on her (because he's the greatest) while they moved me to our recovery room and I could get some food (finally!!) and we could start our newest chapter of our lives with a newborn.
So 30 hours from start to finish, and about 2.5 hours of pushing, little miss Cara made her debut at 12:29 PM weighing 6 lbs. 10.9 oz. and measuring 19 inches. She is pure perfection and I don't think we could love something more...she definitely makes life more beautiful!
