Gwen is THREE Months

I am THREE months old!

I like: my hands (yes, she's found them and loves bringing them to her mouth constantly), my sister (she will crane her neck to find Cara in the room and smile at her every time), when we wag our tongue at her (so it makes a kind of lb-lb lb-lb lb-lb sound) or when I say "waaaah" to her...she mimics the sound, being held in a way that makes it so I have to hold my head up on my own (she is already acting like she wants to do things on her own, including holding herself up already), or when I can stand on my legs with my parents holding me.

 

Shots knock me out too!

 

I dislike: waiting for my bottles, when I'm hungry I want my food right then! And for some reason the 5 AM hour (she needs the binkie put back in every 15 minutes. We know she isn't hungry, just fidgety). So far she's pretty simple and I haven't found a bunch of things she doesn't like, although she still doesn't like being cold or left alone for too long (she has some serious FOMO)

 

 

 

I am now: Once again, we didn't have a doctor appointment and I forgot to do an unofficial weight check, but Gwen is in 3 month clothes (or larger 0-3 months, but even that's iffy), size 2 diapers already, and still has her double chin that we absolutely love.

Trying to capture her smiles!

A Typical Day looks like:

7 AM to 7:30) She usually gets fidgety during this time. She's done good with staying in bed until at least 7:30 (although on Saturday she let us sleep until 8!) and either entertaining herself or just having the binky put in and being okay with that.
7:30 to 8) Breakfast time. I changed diapers, outfits and then make her bottle (usually about 5.5 oz - 4.5 are breastmilk and 1 is formula) and Cara's breakfast (oatmeal or cereal) and then feed them at the same time. Now that I get up at 6:15 and get myself ready before this time it's been easier feeding both of them and getting them ready for Larry to take over.
8 to 9) Gwen hangs out in the swing while I clean dishes, get finishing touches on the morning things (my lunch, the bottle makings for Larry, and getting my work stuff put together), and brush Cara's teeth. As usual, around 8:45 Gwen will get fussy she gets ready for her nap at 9.
9 to 11) Nap time. She still gets squirmy around 10:45 in anticipation of the next feeding.
11 to 12 ish) Diaper change, eat a 5.5 ounce bottle (usually 1 oz is formula, the rest is breast milk), get burped and more wiggle and giggle time.
12:15 to 1:30/2) Nap time. Again, she'll last until about 1:30 before she gets more squirmy. If she gets up early then she hangs out until her next feeding.
2 to 3:30) Diaper change, eat 5.5 oz bottle again, get burped, and then she'll end up going down for another nap.
3:30-5) She goes downstairs while Larry works out and she hangs out in her play area (the old octagon one that Cara was put in before she got her new play area). After his workout (around 4:20/4:30) she goes in the bassinet while he showers. He gets done showering around 4:45 just in time for the next feeding.
5-5:30) Diaper change, eat 5 oz again, get burped, and usually hang out with Larry and Cara.
5:30 to 6/6:15) Final nap time. Just a small one to help her last until bedtime.
6:15-6:45) This is when we wake her up and she'll hang out with Larry and Cara while I pump. Around 6:30 we put her on an activity mat while we do "Family Stretches".
6:45 - 7:30) I'll usually read to the girls at 6:45 while dad gets the 7:00 bottle ready (4 oz of breast milk). I'll feed her while we watch our nightly show
7:30) Get ready for bed. She gets a diaper change, lotion, put in pajamas, owlet, and sleep sac (but not swaddled, it just helps to keep her warm), and a nice 3 oz formula bottle to top her off. Most of the time she'll pass right out during this bottle (she now eats most of it, if not all). We do a bath on Sundays and Wednesdays and then the same routine after that. She's usually asleep by 8, we haven't had too many nights that she's been up past that (maybe only 1 this whole month).

 

Found a new way to play when it's 1:1 time

 

This Month I: learned to sleep unswaddled at night and now I love my arms being free. I also started sleeping through the night as well, I've been such a good 2nd child. I started to try rolling over this past week, just have to get that pesky arm out from under me and I've got it down!

I had to say goodbye to having mom to me all day long, but I still smile for her when she gets home so I don't have issues with her going back to work. I also have discovered my hands and if I could only figure out how to get my fingers into my mouth I'd be such a happy camper :)

Starting to try rolling over :)

 

Parent's Notes: I (mom) went back to work during this month and while it was really hard to be away from the girls all day long (I so miss just being in sweats and hanging around, not to mention Movie Fridays!) it felt good to get back into that routine. I definitely miss seeing Gwen smile during her awake time - she has much less of it than Cara had at this point - and I miss getting hugs and kisses from Cara, but I feel better about my reasons for working. Larry has been a champ handling both girls, even though he's used up the remainder of his paternity leave since I went back and so he hasn't gone back to work just yet.

I was so nervous to start unswaddling Gwen for night time (I get anxious about anything that could mess with her sleep), but we started it right as Larry had the time off and since we temporarily switched sides of the bed so that he's closest to her I get to sleep while he gets her used to sleeping all night like that.

Speaking of sleeping all night, we've found that Gwen now no longer needs any night feedings. She doesn't sleep perfectly all night, but she'll sleep peacefully until around 2 AM (which changed to 4 AM towards the end of the month so the stretches are getting longer) then we give her her binky to help get her sleep stretched out. For some reason she's good until 5 AM (which changed to 6 AM towards the end of the month) and then she gets super fidgety and we constantly need to put the binky back in. I'm hoping by the time Larry goes back to work and I'm back to the side of the bed that is closest to the basinet she is sleeping a bit better haha.

I'm definitely feeling like we're getting into a routine with Gwen easier and quicker than we did with Cara. She goes down for bed really well, she is napping better than before (though still tiny issues), and she's not cranky when she's awake (unless she's ready to be put back down or ready for her bottle). It is weird that she doesn't have as much awake time during the day as Cara did, but I think that might have to be because I kept Cara next to me during my whole maternity leave so if she opened her eyes I assumed she was awake, whereas with Gwen we've learned she usually just wants her binky put back in to help her go back to sleep. Getting used to two was more challenging than I thought or realized, but now we are used to our new normal groove and it hasn't been as bad as it was in the beginning. I actually love having two and couldn't imagine our lives without Gwen, she's such a little sweatheart.

Update on last month's goals:

• Gwen is definitely doing better on sleeping through the night. We know she doesn't need to be up for a feeding and now that we put her in warm pajamas and size 2 diapers (to hold more and help her last longer) she's doing better with the sleeping part, but it could still be improved.
• Sensory stuff: we still let her feel so many things. In fact I started to give her little toys to grip when she's in her swing or laying on our legs so that she can start working on her fine motor development AND feel different textures/sensations. We can't do tasting just yet (though SO close), I doubt she knows how to smell (but I'm sure she can smell when we cook a meal so does that count?), and she definitely gets a bunch of seeing and hearing throughout the day with her activity mats, toys, and an older sister who gabs all day long :)
• Napping: she does a bit better, she is getting to where she likes to have on large name in the middle of the day (usually the same time around Cara's nap, lucky for us) and then a few smaller ones, but the night time gets a little confusing for her. She won't always take a nap around 5:45 and if she doesn't we can expect a cranky baby that we have to keep entertained until bedtime (which is harder than it sounds). That's probably our only problem nap time right now.
• Smiles and enjoying my last month: definitely done! I am always getting smiles from Gwen, the ones when she just wakes up are about the best ones! And I soaked up my last few days. When I was in the middle of maternity leave I didn't think I'd be as sad to leave (I was SO ready to be back to work and feel like I had more of a purpose and get into that regular routine), but I really was sad to leave and know I now only get a few hours with them during the weekday instead of all day long.
• Grabbing toys: She's doing SO well with this! We give her this kind of planet-ball toy in her swing and I've seen her move it from hand to hand AND bring I to her mouth a couple times. It's really impressive to watch.
• Tummy Time and rolling: she's getting SO SO close to rolling over! Towards the end of the month she really started to use her legs to go from back to front, but she can't get her arms to cooperate. Cara did tummy to back first so it's been really cool to see it this way first. I'm sure this is going to happen before Larry goes back to work. I hope I'm here for it, but as long as she does it for me I'm okay with that.

Goals for next month:

• Continue working on tummy time to improve her rolling over skills.
• Speaking of skills, keep working on the grabbing one. She's doing good with aiming her hands somehwere to grab something, but still a little random.
• Make sure she's getting attention just like Cara.
• Get ready for starting to add solids to her eating next month (I REALLY can't wait for this!!)
• Start introducing our STEAM activities each night. I feel like when I get home from work it's constant moving with dinner, pumping, family stretches, feeding Gwen her 7 PM bottle, reading to the girls, and watching our show. I want to find a way to add a STEAM activity for the girls (a letter for each weeknight S-Monday, T-Tuesday, E-Wednesday, A-Thursday, and M-Friday).
• Continue working on her sleep stretches to go smoother. She's about 80% there, but there's still room for improvement.

Happy Love Day 2019

I've officially decided to call February 14th "Love Day" instead of Valentines. I still hate this day, but decided since it's about celebrating love in your life I'd really like the girls to know it as a happy day. We went to the dollar store a couple weekends ago and they had so many fun little treats (that were really impressive for being only $1) so I think in the future I'd like to get them little treat bags for this day. I'm not starting it now since Cara's still too young to understand and Gwen definitely doesn't get it, but maybe next year I can start this tradition? (I'm still trying to figure out how to celebrate without bringing more materialistic things into their lives..I don't want pointless junk in our homes and I don't want our kids to think that's the point of holidays...it's such a tricky, fine line).

Anyways, back to our celebration this year. As usual, we did our usual baking plan. This year was homemade eggnog and eggnog cookies. I also turned on a love song station on our Amazon Show so we had music for the girls (yes I danced with them to a couple songs) and we just had fun together. It did get a little stressful, our nights are pretty busy once I get home from work, but we made it work. The eggnog turned out pretty decently, but seems to only be good early the next morning, but the cookies...oh man did I love the cookies! I'm not sure if it's something I'd make repeatedly, but they were definitely good enough to gobble.

I will say my love cup is very full these days! I absolutely love how awesome Larry has been supporting me with my anxieties I get in my postpartum healing time frame. He has helped me with some rough nights where I think I might lose my mind and is always helping me make sure I have my pump time so that I feel better about switching to bottles with Gwen. He has taken the girls with him to work out to give me some additional "me" time during the day (back when I was home for that) and lets me workout without them so I can really focus on what I'm doing. He really has been a great partner in our parenthood journey and is so dang sexy...he still makes me giddy and so happy that we have the love story that we do.

The girls...what can I say about them that I haven't already? They are the sweetest girls I know. They are so cute and happy and I could not have chosen better kids if I even had the chance. There are days that I literally gush about how lucky I feel to have them in my life. Having them as close together as I did can make people wonder why I would be so crazy, but it hasn't been as bad as I feared it might be. Cara is the absolute best big sister and daughter in the world and is always wanting to help us and loves to clean up after herself (mostly when we tell her it's time to clean up, but still, she's VERY helpful). She learns things so quickly and I can tell she's going to be like me where acknowledgement and praise is going to be what keeps her going. Gwen, well she's still so young, but she definitely loves her family. We ALL get such big smiles from her! She sleeps a lot and eats a lot and is such a cute chunker and looks good in EVERY outfit we put her in. I think she might be a more chill child once she gets to the mobile stage, but I think she'll also follow her sister with everything she does. Both of them together have the absolute sweetest bond already and I'm just the most excited person in the world to see how this evolves as they grow. Like I said, we're so very lucky to have these girls.

Of course I love the kitties too, they can drive me crazy when they fight, throw up, ignore the litter box, and wake me up in the middle of the night, but they complete our happy home. I love my family (parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles) and am so grateful to have them in our lives. This is definitely the best Love Day and I know it'll only get better from here!

Things I Love About Cara

Things I love and need to remember about Cara:

• How quickly she is learning things! She can now say baby, buh-bye (with the cutest little wave), hi, Dad, Mama, shh, cookie, ca-ca (like gross), yes (she goes "uh-huh" ALL the time), and no. She also has a cute way to ask for things. She kind of says "Zsh-Zsh" and points to what she wants. I can tell (without looking at her) when she's asking for something because of this cute sound.
• How she loves to make us laugh. I guarantee she'll be a class clown when she grows up because she just does almost anything for a laugh. She'll make a funny sound, a silly face, do a crazy dance move and if we laugh she'll repeat it over and over to get us to keep laughing. She also love burps and farts and recognizes the word fart so if we say it she'll giggle. There have even been a couple times she's snorted while laughing because it makes us laugh. She's the silliest, funniest person I know!

• She knows SO many body parts. Before I left for maternity leave (at the end of November) she only knew nose and (sometimes) head. Now she knows head, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, belly, shoulders, toes, and (sometimes) knees. She's SO brilliant.
• She LOVES helping us out. When it's time to clean up she helps pick up her toys, if we leave a bottle out, she's quick to grab it and bring it to us (a HUGE improvement from when Gwen was first born and she'd try and put it in her mouth), when we're putting clean dishes away she loves to bring them to us to help us out, and when there's a spill she'll find a paper towel to wipe it up. I can't speak highly enough about how great of a big sister and daughter she has been.

• She loves having her teeth brushed. Doesn't matter what she's doing (for the most part), the second we say "Cara, wanna brusha brusha brusha" she'll drop it and come running to us because she's so excited to brush her teeth. She'll even open her mouth when we tell her to say "ah".

• She is the greatest sleeper and teether there is! She got 3 molars at once around 18 months and we hardly even noticed. She's been getting her K9s now and she's definitely been cranky, but still mostly tolerable. And she doesn't really get up at night at all anymore. She'll sleep or keep herself entertained in her crib until we're ready to get her around 7:45 AM. I really hope Gwen is the same way with this.
• She loves, loves, loves giving kisses and a few hugs. She showers Gwen in kisses daily and when she runs up to me to give me a big hug and kiss...I just melt! I can't believe she's my little girl and how much she loves me (and Larry). I'm in awe of the bond I have with her and just can't wait to see it grow as she does. I am starting to realize how big she's getting and how she'll never be this young again and it seems she's learning things on a weekly basis so it's definitely coming on quicker, which makes me sad, but oh so glad at the same time. I'm so proud of this girlie I've raised!
• The way she prefers books over almost anything. She'll watch a movie for a few minutes, but she'll get distracted and go grab a book and sit down with it (she always puts her feet out in front of her and rests the book on her legs). She can't even read yet, but she'll speak her gibberish while flipping the pages and it's like she thinks she can read. In fact, when I go to get her in the mornings, the first thing she wants is a book from her book shelf. I'll get her one and leave her in the crib with that while I pick out her and Gwen's outfits for the day and then I'll pick her up and let her bring the book downstairs for the day, I've even caught her reading to Gwen a couple times. She's the cutest little ready and I'm proud of the fact that she likes books. I can't wait to teach her to read one day.

• The fact that Gwen just lights up and smiles when she sees Cara. The bond these two girls have already is so insane and I'm SO excited that it's starting off on a good note. We've only had a few instances where Cara has hit Gwen or accidentally stepped on her or was a tad jealous of the attention she was getting, but for the most part it's been lots of love and laughter and I'm so thankful for that. I think it'll make it that much easier when we add more kid(s) that they will be friends so we shouldn't have too much jealousy for any new additions (fingers crossed).

Post Partum Round 2

So I did this post about being post partum 1 week after having Cara...I knew nothing okay? NOTHING!

This time around I'd like to have notes on what has REALLY helped this post partum time period

• Routine, Routine, Routine: So I've heard (and have really experienced first hand) that babies absolutely thrive on routines! My biggest goal with Gwen when I was pregnant was to get her used to bedtime right from the beginning. I'll admit she didn't take to it right away, but by the time she was 6 weeks old she was consistently going down at 8 like we wanted. It took some learning on our parts as to what helped her (and some nights of rocking her to sleep for 30 minutes straight), but I'm so happy that this one has worked for us! I will say we probably messed up a tiny bit on this though, but it's also kind of hard to say. The first couple of weeks were easy because she slept all the time, but once we switched to bottles, getting the bedtime routine down was a bit more difficult. I wish I had spent the first month getting her used to the bedtime routine when she was ready for bed, rather than forcing her to stay awake for hours and then putting her down. Although, in our defense, the only reason she was forced to stay wake for hours (and I really only mean like 2 or 3, not like 6) was because she wouldn't take a nap by a certain time and then when she was tired we had to keep her awake. Those nights of crankiness were SO challenging. I dreaded after dinner time because I knew we'd just be listening to her screaming. I think the first month just has to be a "put them down early or late and then adjust it once they are used to the bedtime routine" time. I know there were a couple nights she wouldn't go down and I'd be so exhausted that Larry would take her down to the office while he played games so I could get a few hours of deep sleep. I am SO thankful for him for those times too. I would've gone crazy had I not had those.
• Feeding: So if you read this post, you know that we've had some breastfeeding issues (with both girls, really), but one thing is I really wish I hadn't beat myself up so much about making sure she was directly breastfed. I wish when I was getting really sad and depressed about it I would've just pumped and given her bottles. It's still technically breast feeding, but it is SO much easier for me. And speaking of pumping, I'm SO glad I pumped early on so that we had a bit of a stash built up so we didn't have to go to formula just because we didn't have enough stored up to begin on bottles. In the future I'd love to still try breastfeeding, but if it ever gets to me too bad I am NOT above switching to bottles, if only to get some help from Larry when putting the baby down!
• Hormones/Emotions (again): So luckily I haven't gotten AS anxious as I did with Cara. I do recognize some anxieties popping up (like if I feel it might mess with her sleeping at night...that REALLY gets to me). But luckily this time I've been able to stop and think "why do I feel anxious right now?" and then I just picture the worst case scenario and how I'd handle it and then I feel better. For example, I've been taking on both girls and making sure they are fed, dressed, changed, getting play time, and nap times regularly on my own (although Gwen does nap in the office with Larry so that she can get used to that environment) and I get nervous Gwen will throw a fit while I'm pumping, and I think what will I do if she does throw a fit? I can't really unhook as easily, but I CAN temporarily pause my pump, unplug it, go help her, and then start my pump again. Although I have learned to just put her in the swing next to me with the binky within reach and then I just bend over to put the binky in so I don't have to actually pause my pumping.
• Diastasis Recti (again): I, of course, I got this. Gwen grew completely straight out forward and I knew early on that I had it. Repairing this completely isn't easy, at least not for me, but I'm still trying to do my little workouts 2-3 times a day so I'm hoping that's enough to get these back together so much more than before.
• Middle of the night feedings/pumping: So I remember this being one of the hardest parts of having a new baby when Cara was born. Being up for 45 minutes every 3 hours took it's toll very hard on me (I don't get hangry, but I do NOT do well being sleep deprived). I remember being at my lowest when I accidentally decided to start feeding her every 2 hours throughout the night rather than 3 hours. I was getting only 15 minutes of sleep every hour and it was pretty much my living hell. I knew with that being my hardest time I needed to make it as easy as I could this time around. Obviously in the beginning when I was breastfeeding it wasn't so bad, we never woke Gwen up so from the beginning we just let her tell us when she was hungry and she consistently woke up around 1 (after her last feeding being around 8/8:30) and then again around 4 ish and then we would be good until the morning feeding around 7:30. It was a nice routine. When we added in a bottle I realized I'd also have to add in a pump session as well (which wasn't my favorite, but my sanity during the day was worth the change). I made the following changes to make feedings/pumpings so much better this time around:
• I picked a show on Hulu that I wanted to watch (one I had already seen a few times and really liked) and made that my show I only watch at night. I watch it when I put Gwen down and I watch it when I get up for her feedings. It's made it so I actually look forward to feedings. Or if she gets up twice a night I wasn't getting up dreading it, I just thought "ooh I get to watch Home Improvement now and it's a good episode" and it made it more tolerable.
• I decided I would only be pumping for 10 minutes this time around. With Cara I was pumping for 30 minutes (because I was crazy) and so I knew I wasn't going to be doing it that long this time. Once Gwen got down to only getting up once or not at all at night I changed my pump at night to 15 minutes just so my supply wouldn't dip, but still not be up for a whole half an hour plus the time to set up, wash the stuff, and store the milk.
• I also decided this time I would read during my night pumping session rather than watch stuff on my phone. I've heard over and over that looking at a screen actually wakes you up rather than helping you sleep and I know whenever I've read in the past it's made me sleepy so I figured that would be the best solution. So far I've read 5 books during my maternity leave, just since Christmas! Granted, sometimes they do get me excited and I don't want to put the books down by the time I'm done pumping, I do remind myself of the sleep I don't want to miss and why it is worth it.
• I put up some post its on my bathroom mirror so when I'm getting the bottle ready I can see these notes to keep me encouraged. One says she'll be cute in a year (but really it's like around 6 months that it got easier with Cara), one said Christmas (because I was really looking forward to that and I love that time of year), and one had an equation about how much of my life would be spent in the "100 days of hell" time frame if I live to be 80 and have 4 kids (our end goal) just to show how much of a blip it really is and how I can get through it just fine.
• Binky/Pacifier/Dummy/Etc.: So I very much struggle with the thought of giving a baby a binky. I hate the idea of doing something because it's easier now, but then making it more difficult for us in the future. I definitely feel it's worth it to struggle in the present if it'll make things much better in the long run (i.e. struggle through putting her down without a binky so that she learns to self sooth quicker and we don't need to wean her from it later and have bad nights all over again). I'm willing to sacrifice the early nights and cranky baby days than have 2 sets of bad nights (newborn ones AND weaning ones). However, Gwen was just so so cranky and grumpy in the beginning and NOTHING but the binky seemed to help most of the time. I gave in just to help me out and then she seemed to become an addict. She couldn't have any awake time without a binky or a bottle. If she didn't have one of those...I mean I've never understood the term ear-piercing screams before until she showed me what that's like. It was HARD (a term for parenting I really try not to use)! Luckily, we were able to kick the binky at night habit really quickly. She gets it when we put her down for naps and then if she wakes up during the night and I know she shouldn't be hungry (for example, she's woken up because one of her hands has broken out of the swaddle and she's trying to find a finger to help her go back to sleep because her hand keeps smacking her face). I feel okay giving her the binky at these times because I know they are temporary. Eventually she won't have naps and she'll be sleeping through the night so I'm okay having the binky help us out in those instances. It's still hard, but I'm confident at this point she has MUCH less binky time than she did in the beginning (we get a lot more smiles when she's awake and a lot of fun "wiggle and giggle" time so she really ONLY gets it at those times now).
• Figuring out Naps and Sleep Times: So one thing that would make me really anxious (with both girls during the newborn phase) was if they wouldn't nap at a certain time and how it would effect their sleep at night. If their first nap of the day was off I'd feel anxious all day long. I've learned, however, that if they wake up early from their last nap and will possibly be awake too long it's worth it to give them a tiny 10-15 minute cat nap before bed and it shouldn't mess with too much. For example, Gwen can only stand to be awake for an hour at a time right now and since we start her bedtime routine around 7:30 we prefer her to nap until 6:30 (usually from 5:30-6:30), but some nights she absolutely refuses to go down at 5:30 so I had learned at 6 to have her nap on my lap for 30 minutes. I'd get a comfy blanket and her binky and just calmly rub her face or arms or something and she'd fall asleep. Sometimes she doesn't sleep till 6:15 or 6:20 and I know I'd rather her sleep till a little after 6:30 and get a decent cat nap in than listen to her scream all night long. Luckily it hasn't effected her being asleep by 8 so far so we've really lucked out!