The Most Unexpected Feeling

So I know I've mentioned quite a bit that we're done having kids and how I'm so happy with that, but I have to say I didn't realize HOW happy I would end up. I really thought I'd miss being pregnant. Not, like, the sickness or achy parts, but the movements inside, the way people were so happy to help me when I had a big belly, the excuse I had to not workout or eat whatever I wanted or not have to do too much during the day and I got to be so lazy once the kids went to bed...it was a grand time! I also thought every time I saw a baby and it seemed like the parents were handling it okay I'd get a little baby fever.

That could not be further from how it really is though. I do not have one lick of baby fever. I see a newborn baby and I think "oh boy, those parents are probably going through the ringer right now" or "wow, they are so brave coming out with such a little one!" If I hear a baby cry or a parent trying to shush their baby, I want to offer to hold the baby for them and help them with it, but I don't want any more of My babies haha.

One of the best parts of not having any more babies is my anxiety has completely disappeared! And not just like the newborn anxiety I get. that always goes away. I mean my general anxiety. Now, I'm not one that gets so anxious I need meds. I have actually enjoyed my anxieties, they keep me going and pushing forward. They were little things, like rushing through my day or making sure I had things planned out well enough. Getting stressed if I forgot something or didn't keep to my schedule so now I'm falling behind. Or the mom guilt you get if you feel you didn't spend enough time with your kids or were yelling at them more than laughing with them. However, somewhere along the lines I feel I've gotten to be more patient, more confident and relaxed, more in the moment. 

New birth control put in.
The beginning of the end!

Part of this is from Pierce growing SO fast. He's at such a fun stage and it feels like he's going through them so quickly that I've been able to force myself to slow down and just enjoy the time I'm in. 

• Enjoy having a baby who likes to be by me and held by me and who smiles anytime I give him any sort of attention (and I seriously melt at that smile each and every single time!). 
• Enjoy the 5 year old who wants to be my shadow and do things exactly like me because she wants to be just like me (I KNOW one day that won't be the case and I'll be so mad I didn't just fully soak it in). 
• Enjoy the 4 year old who wants to give me hugs and tell me she loves me while also instantly crying because I didn't realize she wanted water and I didn't hear her ask for it haha. 
• Enjoy the 2 year old who gets naked all the time and wants to get dressed on her own even though she's putting the shirt on upside down and having a meltdown over it, but if we offer any help she yells out "no! I do it!" haha.
• And enjoy the husband who is in it with me every day, who helps me out and gives me breaks anytime I need it. Who wants to help out, even though he may not do it my way, but be glad he's offering to help anyways. Who loves to cuddle with me and rub my back and wants to get me treats when he sees I've worked really hard.

I'm also so much less stressed out, I don't get as angry about things, I'm more patient and easy going. I'm finding ways to teach the kids better and it goes over so much smoother. Sure I have my moments where I've told them a million times to clean up a room and they just aren't doing it. But instead of asking once and then yelling, I gently remind them a few times before I push it. Sometimes it's "okay, they either clean and get their tablets or they don't clean and keep playing and it's just not a tablet day. They can clean before lunch time." I also have more fun with the kids. Like the time we saw cows while we were driving and we started talking about the silly colors that cows aren't (a purple and orange cow? What?! Haha). 

My life is SO great right now. There are SO many things I'm looking forward to next year and I know they'll be great. My old self would constantly be looking forward to those things and wanting to do a mental countdown each day and just be looking at that metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel (that, honestly, never disappeared because I was always just looking forward to the next thing). But I know I'd get there and look back and think I didn't pay attention to this time, I just rushed through it. I refuse to do that anymore. I'll enjoy that future stuff when I get there, but for now, I'm loving these moments I have with my family, while I have them. And I'll look back, hopefully, and realize this was my happiest time and it just got better and better as time went on.

Thanksgiving 2022

Thanksgiving this year has been such a great one! It's been SO nice having my mom back so we knew we'd be spending it with her this year. She's been doing so much to get my grandma's house updated and she had just finished the front and dining rooms so we were excited to see more updates.

I love celebrating the holidays, I wish there were more Thanksgiving things (songs, movies, traditions that were more than just for the day), but I still do what I can. We put up our decorations RIGHT after Halloween to give it as much time as possible. I've watched all my Fall/Football movies already haha (there's only about 4 or 5 I like so I watch them every single year, but I still love them). We do our own Thanksgiving meal at home so we can have our own leftovers, so I've been making lists of what we need and getting all the food items for that. I also have about 95% of my Christmas shopping done (and maybe have started on my Christmas movies too haha) so I'm a bit ahead there, which is a much nicer feeling than realizing I waited too long and now have to rush like all the other last minute fools haha.

My favorite way to start the day is by watching the Parade. I almost forgot about it this year. I know it usually starts pretty early, but luckily when I realized I had forgotten to put it on, it wasn't set to start for another 15 minutes. The girls are only semi into it, but it's still fun to share it with them and watch the performances, point out balloons I think they'd like, and of course see Santa at the end! Dinner wasn't until 4:30 so we enjoyed a lazy afternoon and then headed over right after nap time.

Basically...the only shots I got the day of

We didn't have too much we needed to bring to my mom's, it was a low key dinner with just my mom, Will, Grandma, and Andy (poor Rachel was sick and decided to stay home) so that made it easy with transporting 4 kids, our diaper bag, and some toys for just in case. The new setup my mom had with the "formal" dining room and front living room was so nice, very cozy! We visited for a bit and then once the turkey was done we got to dig in. There were lots of food options AND I didn't have to sit at the kid table (a running family joke haha) plus the girls got their own tv in the kitchen to watch a movie while they ate. We put Pierce down with some toys to play with in the front room (within eye shot of where we were eating) while we visited with everyone during dinner. It was actually pretty peaceful, no real stress. I also was excited to help clean up (normally that's the part I dread when we go over to someone's house for dinner) and it ended up going really quickly. Dessert was amazing and at that point the girls ate in the dining room with us so I didn't feel like I was ignoring them. 

The only down side to our Thanksgiving experience, and it really isn't SO bad, but I had been so focused on Gwen's party that I didn't realize Thanksgiving was SO close afterwards so we didn't do our shopping for anything we needed until the Sunday before it. However, the store ended up having everything on my list so it worked out well enough and I didn't even really stress about it (which is so new for me!). Oh and I accidentally planned our Santa picture on the same day as our Thanksgiving AND I was trying to work a couple house and get the house cleaned up for our decoration switch this weekend so it's been a busy day, but I've gotten it all done. And our food turned out so yummy so I'm glad we have that to look forward to for lunches and dinner this week (more leftovers means I don't have to cook as much and that's just the ultimate win for me haha).

At least our picture turned out cute

Gwen is 4!

My little Gwen-Gwen is now 4 years old! I can't believe it! We had such a fun day celebrating her, but first I have to post my mushy stuff:

To Gwen, 

I love how sweet and silly you are. I wish I could fully capture it in video or photo, but your personality comes out at such spontaneous times all I can do is just soak it in when it happens. You are beyond smart and sassy. You are so logical, you throw it back at people without realizing what a smart ass you are. I love it! You adjust to things SO well, but you HATE being ignored, you mostly just go with the flow. You have a heart of gold and love to include everyone in things. You will randomly give us hugs and tell us you love us (which is one of my absolute favorite things ever!). You definitely like to be mischievous or get extremely emotional at times, but you mostly are a sweetheart. If you feel bad in any way, I love that you'll just take yourself to the couch, cover up with a blanket and relax (I'm sure that'll help you when you get older vs throwing a fit). I underestimate how brilliant you are and I'm doing my best to not do that. You understand a lot of Cara's school work without being there to learn it from a teacher. You understand when I read stories to pay attention because I will be asking questions after I'm done haha. You seem to love to draw and color, but you're not so much worried if you're drawing anything real haha. You love the kitties and your little siblings and are so good at playing with them. You don't ask "why" so much anymore, but do say you know why things are the way they are and I love that you understand things so well. It makes the whole "why" period worth it. I love how gorgeous your hair is too, I swear you have princess-like hair and it's the most beautiful hair I've ever seen (I love brushing it to see how long and naturally curly it is). I also love your little curves, with your full bum and belly and long legs. I'm literally jealous of your inward and outward beauty and know we're going to be in trouble when you get older and have school dances/dates. You also have that personality where you do what you like, you don't realize how silly and pretty you are. You are SO strong and brave too. I have loved watching you learn and conquer so much this past year! You are a rock star and I'm so excited to see you continue to grow (and to see how you handle being in school next year!).

If her personality could be summed up in a shot

Now onto her party! Ever since Cara's party at Chuck E Cheese she's wanted to go for her birthday, which I didn't hate because it was one of the easiest places to have a party and we had a LOT of leftover game cards and some tickets we found so it gave us an excuse to use those up. I'm glad her birthday was on a Saturday so we could plan the party for the actual day (makes it a little bit easier). We opened presents first and she was SO good at showing how excited she was for each gift. Gwen LOVED the attention she got from the family. However, when it came time to dance with the mouse she was the only kid who wasn't doing anything haha. Cara went up to start dancing with her, but came back to her seat pretty quickly (I think she started to get shy too haha). 

She blew out the candle on her cake like a champ (I was a bit worried when we practiced on a candle at home and she had trouble blowing that one out, but apparently cake ones are easier haha). When it came time to do the ticket blaster she asked Cara to go with her and it was SO funny watching them. Tickets were literally flying into Gwen's face and she'd take them off and throw them into the air. She was able to catch quite a bit, but then threw them down when it was over haha. Luckily, the workers grabbed a bunch and gave them to her. 

I was really excited that the kids got to play for a while this time. I hung out with Pierce, when he wasn't with Nana and the girls playing and riding the "rides" (I was probably cleaning or visiting with people at that point). Once everyone started leaving and time ran out on the game cards we exchanged our tickets for the prizes. They ended up forgetting to give us our big one (and we didn't realize till we got home...which I'm trying NOT to obsess over), but the kids still got lots of good things. 

Overall, we had SUCH a fun time celebrating our sweet girl and she seemed to have such a fun time. I think this is one of the last family birthday parties we'll do, I know I'll do a big one for Pierce's 1st birthday and MAYBE one more for Lucy? But I think the kids are getting to where we can have them pick their birthday activities and we'll just have a fun, low key family day together. Oh and let them do a friend birthday party as they get into school. 

Fall Adventures

Oh man how I love this time of year! It's taken me a long time to get back into Fall (what with constantly being pregnant and super sick during this time for the last 5 years haha), but I'm really starting to learn to appreciate it again. I almost prefer it to the summer right now. We've had a lot of fun this Fall so far, none of which felt like it needed it's own post, so I thought I'd throw it all together here:

I will always love the mountain views
During Fall drives!

One of my favorite parts of Fall is that the weather starts to get colder, which means HOT CHOCOLATE seasons is upon us! I still have quite a few hot chocolate items from last winter so I've been excited to get back into one of my favorite little treats. I know it's silly, but sweaters and hot chocolate are just so cozy and the fact that I get to stay home/inside during the day while it gets cooler outside is so nice!

Hot chocolate in a favorite mug!

Finding new Fall scents is hard, these two
Are my absolute favorites now!

Another favorite parts: Football! Go Pack Go is our Fall Motto haha. It's been so fun to get Pierce some cute little Packers outfits and have the girls sit with me as we cheer them on (they aren't doing SO great this season, but it's still fun to watch). I absolutely love that my girls call ANYTHING football related "Packers". So if they see a video with people in a stadium, they say "hey they are at the Packers" or if they see a football (on a shirt, sign, tv show, anything) they say "hey mom! It's the Packers like you like!" haha. I've looked forward to sharing my football obsession with them since Cara was about 6 months old so this is a lovely dream for me.

We took this last week off as a little staycation. Family vacations should start up again next year and not stop until we run out of money or places to go, haha, so staycations have been big for us the past couple of years (it's mostly been our only option with the Vid going on) and it's been so nice to hang out as a family. I've gotten almost all my Christmas shopping done, which might be one of my more brilliant ideas - to get my shopping done in November so I can enjoy  Christmas activities in December. We got some doctor appointments crossed off our lists, and we've just enjoyed not having to be so much on a time schedule. Plus this gave us some extra time to adjust to the time change, which I was dreading.

Zoo trip in the Fall are almost a MUST

Speaking of doctor appointments, I've officially gotten back onto birth control. I haven't been on anything since a year or so before Cara came along, but knowing we were done with having kids I was excited to get on something until I can get my permanent surgery taken care of. I decided on the arm implant and even though it's bruised like crazy and my arms is still a little sensitive, I'm very happy with my decision. They say it can mess with your periods, but to give it 6 months before you decide you hate it (IF you hate it, that is) and that works for me because I'm hoping in about 6 months to get my surgery so this just feels more right. They made me take a pregnancy test before hand and THAT was weird, but I'm glad for the reassurance. I also crossed off my general checkup/annual girlie doctor stuff with that appointment so it felt like a 5 birds, one stone type of deal haha.

The very last Thriller performance

While we had this last week off I figured it would be nice to drive up and visit Stacey. I hadn't been up there in about a year, maybe more, really, so it felt like good timing. I just went up Thursday and came back Saturday so it was real quick, but it was nice (also, she now only has 1 guest room, instead of 2, and since I was bring Cara and Gwen with me that meant I was on the couch so a short visit was really the only option). We made us a few shirts (which turned out SO cute), I got to see her boys wrestle (and Cara got to try it out for a bit), I helped her clean and organize some things, and we hit up a craft/gift fair while Cole took all 5 kids, by himself, to a fun play place (well fun for the younger kids, poor Ollie was a bit old for it and he didn't seem to have as much fun). We hit up Red Robin for lunch before heading back, which is one of my favorites, and had a great time! I was also able to fill up the gas tank, give the girls snack bags and a DVD play with a movie and get up there without making any stops! I even had enough gas to drive around for the couple of days and only needed to get gas to make it home without stopping. It was pretty nice (go little Kia Sportage!). I love that our friendship has lasted SO long and we've seen each other go through so much! 

I love seeing my kids interact with my friends

Her boys don't sit still so this is the best pic
I could get with one of her dependents haha
I love puppy cuddles!

So that's been our Fall so far, other than Halloween and Thanksgiving (which do get their own posts) and I have to say I'm having a great time so far! I'm still in the "I'm excited to do more next year" phase with a little one, but we're still soaking up what we can during this time in our lives and that's what's important!

Sleep Theories

So in the past couple months I've had A LOT of nights/mornings where my body seems to want to wake up an hour earlier than normal. At first, it was extremely frustrating. I finally got my last baby to sleep through the night and now my body was like "sleep? Eh...we'll sleep when we're dead!" haha (but not really haha!). However, I noticed if I actually got up at that point and did something, I felt more productive and energetic throughout the day. If I forced myself to stay in bed I'd either fall back asleep RIGHT before my alarm went off, which made me more tired, or I'd feel like I started my day on a lazier note and wouldn't be as motivated to get stuff done. I started to wonder if maybe I didn't NEED 7-8 hours of sleep and could function off of less sleep.

Backstory: there's an episode of American Dad where Stan gets a pill that helps him not need sleep at night. He ends up spending the day with his family and then using the nights for things he wants. Francine ends up taking the pill with him, but they do their own things at night and watching them do so much I was jealous. I told Larry over and over that I wish that pill actually existed because it would be SO nice to have more time to do what I wanted and not need sleep, but just have it as an extra thing if I didn't have anything else to do. 

Now, let me just say, I didn't want to FORCE less sleep on my body. However, if it naturally woke up earlier, why not just get up and get things done? Now that I work in the office (so kids interrupt a lot of stuff) and my new promotion I got a couple months ago keeping me MUCH busier at work I have a lot less "me" time during the day than I used to have. So I figure, why not use an extra hour in the morning to get those "me time" things done? On the plus side, I also thought I could use some mornings to start learning computer programming again (I was doing some coding/SQL work before I had Pierce and was trying to figure out times to fit that back into my schedule). The more I thought about it, the more this started to make sense. 

I decided to first figure out if I was the only person who felt this way. I put some polls on my Instagram stories and found out quite a few people that I know are the same way. Most prefer more sleep, obviously, but there were some people out there like me that felt more productive and like they didn't need as much sleep. I figured why not test it out a few mornings? So, for the past few weeks, I have been waking up an hour earlier once a week to get some things done and you know what? I LOVE it! That extra hour that's so silent in the mornings, I can eat my breakfast in peace, do what work I needed to do for me with no interruptions (except maybe when nature calls haha), and I felt so much more productive during the day!

So I have officially decided now that Pierce has gotten his first tooth, once we navigate this time change coming up and after this week we're taking off, I'm going to start waking up an hour earlier Monday through Thursday. This gives me Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to get any extra rest my body might need (especially while I'm adjusting at first) and I get 4 days to get extra stuff done. I have a few things I feel I'll need to focus on for the holidays, but after New Years I'm going to do my coding/programming 3 of the 4 mornings, and let the 4th one be a "free for all" morning to do any other things I want. I'm very excited about this plan and hope it works out that I can function without feeling too exhausted AND get so much done! Wish me luck that I don't end up hating this and going back to "sleeping in", if you can call it that with 4 kids.

Pierce is SEVEN Months

 I am SEVEN months old!

I like: watching my sisters run around, playing with toes, sitting up and playing with toys, wiggling and wiggling (this boy was born with ants in his pants haha), eating food, and bath time

I dislike: being put down when he wants a bottle, being put down for a nap when he's not fully tired, when his sister's scream too loud and for too long, being left alone.

I am now: this boy is in 12 month clothes already! Not sure how much he weighs, but a lot (haha)! He's still in size 3 diapers though. He's such a bit boy, so chunky and full of love!

A Typical Day looks like: 

 

Wake up around 7:30. He'll sometimes sleep in a little, and sometimes he wakes up early and we just leave him be (he seems to be more used to that now, every once in a while he'll wake up crying).

8 get a 7.5 oz bottle (4 oz breast milk, 3.5 is formula)

8:30-9:30 wiggle & giggle time. I'll put a show on for the girls at 8:30 and put him in his activity table to walk around in, but I do have to give him puffs or a teether crisp to help him stay content

9:30-11 nap time

11 next 7 oz bottle(4 oz breast milk, 3 formula)

11:30-12:30 Lunch and wiggle & giggle / hang out time. We feed him about 1/2 to 1 whole container of food while we eat lunch. Then he hangs out while we clean up. I might give him a spoon of peanut butter or some veggie straws to keep him content...he seems to like feeding himself.

1-2:30: nap time.

2:30 next 7.5 oz bottle (4 oz breast milk, 3.5 formula)

3-3:30 play/hang out time

3:30-5 hang out with dad while he works out. Most of the time he likes it, but every once in a while he cries down there.

5 he gets a 4-5 oz breast milk bottle. Most days he'll chug this, but once in a while he takes a LOOONG time to drink it.

5:30 dinner time. He'll eat almost a whole small container at this point. 

6-7:15 play time

7:15 7 oz formula bottle

7:40 start bedtime. Sundays and Thursdays start with a bath (around 7:30), then it's diaper change, pajamas, a little cuddle/rock while we read to him, and sleep by 8.

This Month: This boy got to be so silly this month. He loves to smile and wag his arms around, he loves to feed himself, he loves to try real food over baby food or bottles. He got his first tooth about a week before Halloween, but hasn't been too crabby. He did get hand, foot, and mouth around the same time and luckily never got too whiney or had any fevers. We gave him Tylenol every once in a while to hold him over, but he has been handling it pretty good.

We started giving him suckers for our Friday Family Movie night and he seems to LOVE that. Larry gives him tastes of everything he can and so far he seems to be a fan of everything. I hope that means he won't be a picky eater as he gets older, but I know the girls were this same way so we'll have to wait and see haha. 

Pierce rolls and scoots all around the house, he gets up on all fours, but then just wags back and forth, doesn't really go anywhere, but I know he's SO close to figuring it out. He also loves to grab hands and pull himself up and sometimes he's the happiest when he can just walk around holding onto our hands haha. He also loves when we pretend to eat his ticklish spots by his ribs and is still ticklish behind his ears (and now even on his thighs). His giggle lights up my day and his smile melts me. I joke I'm going to have a hard time punishing him when he's older because he'll just smile at me and I'll fold haha.

Unfortunately, we did get our first case of Hand, Foot, and Mouth this month. Lucy got the worst of it, but Pierce got a little bit of it. Luckily, he never got too fussy or had a fever, just mostly tired and had sad sores on his face. He handled it so very well! I'm proud of our big boy.

I'm so surprised that I have no more anxiety and life is just great with our 4 kids. I can't tell if I am more of a softie with Pierce because he's a boy or because he's our last, probably a bit of both, but I can't help but feel like life is just happier these days and I just look forward to all the days I get with my family!

Dad at 1 year on the left, Pierce at 7.5 months on the right
TWINSIES!

Update on last month's goals:

• Work on scooting and crawling more: this boy can scoot almost anywhere in the house, but crawling he's still working on. I think it'll definitely be within this next month.
  
  
• Prepare for teething: it really hasn't been too bad, so far, so I hope it stays that way. I think he'll be excited to eat more food with these chompers haha.
  
  
• Prepare for Daylight Savings Time to end: still waiting on this one. I do think it'll help we've taken that whole week off to help us all adjust.
  
  
• Introduce him to Halloween and take out Trick or Treating: We had a lot of Halloween fun (see that post for those details), but because of the sickness around the house we decided against taking out for Trick-or-Treating. He still enjoyed it.

Goals for next month:

• Introduce to Thanksgiving and have him try all the new foods with his new teeth.
  
  
• Work on sitting up and crawling
  
  
• Adjust to the time change
  
  
• Introduce baby food for breakfast with a bottle afterwards (he is crabby and ready for his bottle every morning, I'm hoping if we bring in some food he'll like that).
  
  
• Enjoy a staycation with him