Lucy is THREE Months

 I am THREE months old!

I like: Mommy and her silly sounds or laugh, grabbing my elephant toy on my play mat, the time after I wake up from a good sleep (whether in the morning or after a nap), my fingers/fist, the swing (for a small-ish amount of time), a binky for sleeping, bicycle movements with her legs, watching the fish tank, and when we help her stand and sit.

I dislike: being cold, being hungry, being tired, and being left alone in one spot for too long

I am now: No weight check, but she was almost 12 lbs. around 11 weeks. She's in size 1 diapers and went from 0-3 month clothes to 3 month clothes towards the end of the month. 

A Typical Day looks like: Once we switched to bottles and napping independently she got on a schedule REAL quick. Here's what she prefers:

She wakes up between 7:30 and 8 AM

7:45/8 - she has a 4.5 oz bottle. Gets a diaper change, her probiotic, and changed into her clothes for the day (she's a spit up queen so I take her out of her pajamas as soon as possible so she doesn't ruin those).

8-9  she plays on the swing, play mat, in her boppy lounger, or whatever will make her happiest.

9-10:45/11  nap time. Once I see her yawning and starting to rub her eyes we went from swaddling her in a thin blanket, turning off the office lights and turn on the fan and lay her in the pack n play baby bed thing and then wrapped up in the thicker blanket and given her a binky. Towards the end of the month (once I went back to work and Larry took his last leave) she had outgrown the baby bed part and we felt she could be unswaddled so we would turn off the light, lay her in the pack n play, wrap the blanket around her under her arms, give her the binky, turn on the fan, and give her a kiss. Within 5 minutes she's usually out (sometimes it takes a little longer if her arms are feeling particularly wobbly).

11:00 - next 4.5 oz bottle and diaper change (if needed, if not I do it before the next nap)

11:00 - 12/12:15 play time (swing, tummy time, play mat, whatever works).

12/12:15-2 nap time. Same routine as before.

2 - next 4.5 oz bottle and diaper change

2-3:30 play time

3:30 - 4:30 nap time. Same routine as before.

4:30 - 5  play time w/mom while daddy and girls go downstairs to work out and play.

5:00 - next 4.5 oz bottle

5 - 5:30/6 play time

6 - 6:30 small nap time (just to get her to be chill till bed time).

6:30 - 7:15 play time

7:15 she gets a 3 - 3.5 oz bottle (all formula)

7:30 get ready for bed. This includes a bath on Sundays and Thursdays to start. Then we change her diaper, put on the owlet, put on pajamas, put on the sleep sac, swaddle her, lay her down and give her the binky. I'm happy to report that the waking after 1 hour ended around the 11.5 week mark...I was SO relieved her night time sleeping is getting better! Oh and she's our first baby that stopped needing a bottle at bedtime the quickest. I'm SO happy we haven't had to stress about stopping that, she did it all on her own!

She does good throughout the night. She tends to grunt a lot between midnight and 1 because she has gas and if she starts breaking out of the swaddle I'll give her a binky (at the beginning of the month if she broke out of the swaddle we were in trouble!!). She then is good until 4 AM (later that moved to 6 AM). She's usually broken out of the swaddle at that point so I would change her diaper and feed her 3 oz (all formula). After that I'd re-swaddle her and lay her down with the binky again (she needs it after feedings or she spits up...guaranteed), then she's good until 6 AM. She'd start grunting at that point so from 6 - 7:30 I'd just sleep lightly to keep replacing the binky if she needed it (if she's moving a lot, her fingers are teasing her, she's waking up, or she's starting to break out of the swaddle). I tend to go to bed around 9 so I can get as much sleep as possible. Once I went back to work and Larry took over (I slept in the guest room because Larry needed to be in front of the fan and we didn't want to move that so guest room was my only option) she started sleeping better throughout the night. She'd be unswaddled by the 12/1 AM grunting time and he'd give her the binky, which would need to be replaced off and on until 2. Then she'd be good until 6 and he'd just do the binky until morning time and we'd pick up feeding her around 8 AM and it worked great. I'm still in the guest room for another week and I'm a little nervous to be back in the bedroom to be on binky duty haha.

This Month: We made a BIG improvement on napping, I'm SO relieved that the little girl took to bottles really well and has taken the binky for napping. She fought napping for the first couple days we tried it (which we had to go to Marie's for lunch the first day so it makes sense that would be harder for her), but once she realized the routine she looks forward to it and only fusses because she wants to be asleep asap. I think it also helped her realize the bedtime routine was for sleep (since it was similar to the napping routine), she stopped screaming and crying when we took her to the bedroom and only fusses when she's really ready to go to sleep. 

Once we switched to bottles, after a few days, she went from waking up at 4 AM to 5 or 6 AM. I was giving her the binky to help stretch her sleep as long as possible, but usually in the 6 AM hour she would get fussy and just wanted to eat. She then started breaking out of the swaddle and the binky only helped so much so she went back to needing feedings around 4 AM (which worked because I'd fill her up and then she'd be able to sleep until 7:30/8 better). Then once I went back to work she actually went back to sleeping through the night for daddy. She still needs to binky replaced quite a bit, but doesn't actually need a feeding AND would be broken out of her swaddle. We still swaddle her to put her to bed, but I'm thinking that's going to change soon.

I did forget how exhausting getting up in the night to pump can be so I ended up giving that up after a few days. It was too hard when her night wakings were happening at random moments and I wasn't sure when I could get away to pump. I can't lie, I have no issues if I don't pump a lot this time. I pump every 3 hours during the day and then right before bed and then start up again in the morning. I am only pumping so I don't get my period back at this point (haha) I'm okay if she's just on formula.

It has been so much nicer to sleep in the guest room as well and knowing daddy can take over all night feedings for that day. Luckily, I'm still getting decent sleep when I am in our room.

This month I was having a hard time with missing having our Saturday night movie date nights and I've been fighting having more "me" time, but I had to remind myself it's selfish to think that way and to appreciate having my babies and the family I've been able to grow. Luckily as she'd gotten better with her sleep it got a bit easier; I know we'll get those movie nights again, I just need to be patient. The motto I've had this time around is "the quicker you rush, the longer it takes". 

Going back to work was pretty emotional. I swear I don't remember being so emotional before, but this time my last day I teared up a little bit. I'm not sure where that came from haha.

She is starting to laugh a little bit too. It's very little of a laugh, but it's SO cute and she's so silly with what makes her laugh (one day it was me bopping her on her forehead, cheeks, and chin and then laughing. Sometimes it's the sit and stand motion we do with her. It's random, but one of my favorite daily games is figuring out what will make her laugh). Oh and she's getting interested in food now. She loves watching us eat and I usually end up holding her while we eat dinner (if it's something I can eat one handed) and she loves staring at our food. I'm thinking she's going to be excited to start having foods of her own next month.

And finally, I'd like to say as we approach the end of the 2nd month, beginning of the 3rd month it's crazy to think how much has changed in just one month. The night she turned 2 months (so the 11th to the 12th of August) I was so desperate to get her to sleep better and not need to be on me that I gave her a new binky that she took right away and I was SO happy I could've cried. I was at my wits end with nights going so bad and feeling like she wouldn't ever leave my boob (they said at her checkup I was bordering having PPD...it was that stressful). I was also still doing the nurse/napping thing during the day and feeling like I'd never get a chance to workout or get things done around the house. I loved Lucy and watching her sleep, but I needed her to not need me so much. And now, here we are: she's napping independently, she's sleeping SO great throughout the night, she's such a happier baby during the day, I'm getting things done, and everything is going SO much smoother. I also started working out now and so my endorphins are back and I'm just so much happier (and she's suddenly so much cuter haha).

Update on last month's goals:

• More binky/hands acceptance: she LOVES the binky for sleeping now and I'm so happy. She can bring her hands to her mouth like a pro! However, she can't figure out what finger(s) she wants.
• Independent napping: She has this down! We started on the 22nd and while it was rough for a couple days, she had it down by Wednesday. I cannot express how happy that made me
• Be (and stay) down by 8 PM: Done! So SO happy about this one.
• Switch to bottles and add in formula: this was also started on the 22nd. It's been a huge game changer (like to a point where I'm NEVER breastfeeding ever again!) and it's been nice switching over. It almost immediately helped her night sleeping.
• Tummy Time: she hated this still at the beginning of the month, but by the end of August she was doing better with it. Only for a couple minutes, but a bigger improvement (she wouldn't stand it for a second at first, but then worked up to a couple minutes).

Goals for next month:

• Get her sleeping until 7:30/8 without a feeding and ALSO not grunting as much (hopefully we can accomplish this).
• More tummy time during the day - I'm really bad at doing this since she's hated it so much.
• Sleeping without a swaddle - I'm SO nervous for this!! It won't be until she finds her fingers better, I'm sure.
• Give her more time in the bumbo chair to get used to sitting up
• Hopefully get her starting to roll over and laugh (more).
• Work on some sensory stuff - mostly feeling new things.

Fall Bucket List

It's official - Fall is starting! I can smell it in the air. I have such a hard time with Fall, but only because I've had morning sickness with two pregnancies during Fall and so the scents tend to make me nauseous still. I'm on the hunt for new smells to help me get through this season. 

Another thing I'm doing is making a fun bucket list for Fall this year to help me get into the spirit of the season. Here are things I hope to accomplish this year:

• Do Fall crafts on the weekends with the two older girls
• Go apple picking
• Get pumpkins for Halloween
• Actually decorate for Halloween
• Go costume shopping
• Go to a corn maze (hopefully Lucy will play along with this idea)
• Take the girls Trick-or-treating
• Make Fall desserts
• Watch as many Packers games as we can!!
• Have a yummy Thanksgiving dinner
• Introduce the girls to all things Fall (holidays, food, sports, etc.)

Anyways, it's not a lot, but with two working parents and a new baby I feel it's a start for us. I'm very excited to see how this year goes :)

Nap Weaning

We're officially to the point of weaning Lucy off of nurse-napping. I struggled with this decision for a long time. I battled back and forth about how we NEEDED to get her off of that habit before I went back to work, but I wondered if we should do it earlier, if we should just wait till I go back to work and cold turkey it (Larry takes 2 weeks off when I go back so it's not as big of a deal for him if we did go that route), but in the end we decided to do it now. I go back to work in a couple weeks and this weekend felt like a good enough starting point. 

Daddy taking 1st shift

Day 1 was VERY hard, I mean not as hard as it could have been, but we went up to visit Marie and so figuring out how to get her to nap without nursing and figuring out bottles for the first time wasn't ideal, but we got through it. Today has been a bit easier, we've had quite a few good naps (she is my first that needs to be swaddled during naps and that freaks me out). And, because I missed it so bad, I let her take one nap on me (not nursing though, so it's still a win).

So wish us luck that we keep seeing progress with this because I NEED her to be able to nap well and on her own. Luckily when I got back to work I get to have the guest room at nights and Larry gets night time duty so I at least get a break then. I'm not sure why, but naps have been such a ROUGH time this go round so I'll be happy if this plan we're doing works!

Physical Therapy

Welp, the time has come to professionally address my ab split from all my pregnancies! I knew it would be coming eventually (and felt like it would be pretty soon), but it's officially now. I went to my 6 week checkup after having Lucy and the midwife felt my belly and said that if we plan to have any more kids I really need to go to a physical therapist because my core is basically garbage (I'm paraphrasing). They gave me a referral to a clinic down in Lindon and I called to make an appointment for today.

I had to document that I wasn't attached
To a baby haha

I'm not going to lie, I was pretty excited to see what they'd say and how well they were going to help. I didn't love figuring out time to go and how it was going to work when I went back to work, but I figured we'll just have to make it work. I was a little nervous leaving because Lucy is still in her nursing-nap phase and I knew I'd be gone too long for her to stay awake (but that was dad's problem, right? Haha).

Now that I've gone to my first appointment I have to say it's unfortunate because I'm not going to be able to make it work for me. The lady I went to was pregnant and was going to be going on maternity leave in October and they wanted me to go in about 6 times before the end of February and with my work schedule I don't think I'm going to be able to fit it in in a helpful way. 

While I don't think I'll be able to stick with it, she did give me some great tips I could try to do at home in the meantime. I was really thrown by how it worked. She was asking me questions and I was talking to her and I thought she was just feeling my abs and where they were and we were talking about being pregnant and what not. After a while I was wondering when the actual physical therapy was going to start and then realized that's what she was doing haha. It's weird, but I think it'll be effective and it gives me quite a bit to at least start with and hopefully get my abs in a good enough position to go through one last pregnancy.

The good news is I was able to get away for a bit, learn some tips and tricks, and it gives me a good starting point. 

Lucy is TWO Months

I am TWO months old!

 

I like: mommy's voice (I'll call her stinker when she poops and she smiles, she loves when I make funny sounds like the popping sound when you smack your lips together or when I wag my tongue to make a suction cup popping sound), being held to look out, being nursed and napping on mom, the pink circle on my play mat, the swing (towards the end of the month - earlier she didn't like it at all), mornings

I am now: According to the doctor's numbers Lucy is 10 lbs 11 oz and 22.5 inches long. Compared to the other girls she's just a smidge lighter than they were (Gwen was 11 lbs even and Cara was 11 lbs 3 oz) and she's pretty much just as long as they are. And that's only on breastmilk!! The other girls were on formula by this point so I'm pretty proud of the fact that she's almost the same size as they were at the same point, but with only one bottle a day (and that is breast milk). She's in 0-3 month clothes (but I'm pretty sure she'll be ready for 3 month pretty soon) and in size 1 diapers. She's a growing girlie!

A Typical Day looks like: Unfortunately we don't have a great set routine yet, but basically she gets up (usually in the 6 AM hour - I'm working on stretching that to 7:30 as close as I can) and I feed her, which she'll usually nap while she eats so that tends to extend her sleeping time (ish). I'll then get all the girls up and downstairs. I'll feed everyone breakfast, change diapers, and get Lucy dressed. I tend to only grab clothes for the other girls if it's their weekly picture day, otherwise they just strip down and it's pointless unless we're going somewhere for the day. Lucy usually lasts about an hour before she gets fussy for her nap. I try and finish getting ready before that point (dressed, teeth brushed, hair brushed and up in a pony tail or clip, lotion and deodorant on and I'm good to go - I'm finally getting back into my pre pregnancy clothes, instead of sweats so I'm actually feeling ready for the day). Lucy will nurse/nap on me for about an hour while the older girls watch a show and play with toys (I tend to listen to podcasts or watch YouTube videos). After Lucy wakes up I lay her on a play mat for wiggle and giggle time and go get anything I need done (shower, bathroom, snack, flashcard w/Cara and Gwen, etc.). She'll last about 45 ish minutes and be ready for her next nap (nurse/nap) and it starts over. That goes on and on until the older girls take a nap, then I'll hook Lucy up and put on a movie and she'll nap for 2 hours instead of just 1. Then we go back to our 45 minutes awake/1 hour napping for the rest of the night. Usually I have to give her a mini nap instead of a 1 hour one so that she's for sure napping from 4 to 5 and we can do dinner and then she has her last name around 5:45/6 and naps until 6:45. Bedtime starts at 7:30 (except on Sunday/Thursday - bath nights - when we start at 7:15) with a diaper change, lotion, owlet/pajamas/sleep sac on, a feeding (3 oz bottle or nursing until passing out), and down. She gets up, usually, just once a night (either at 2 or 4 AM, depending on if she got a bottle or nursing session before bed) and then IF she stays down is iffy after that point.

I'm not going to lie, I'm 50/50 on if I like this schedule. I know it isn't permanent and so most days I feel I've set up something bad and she's going to have a really hard time napping when I go back to work . It's also hard knowing I only get "me" time in 45 minute increments throughout the day (talk about rushing to shower/dry my hair!). I hate that my day is more revolved around her than my previous girls. I hate that she has more control over me than I do. I hate that I can't just put her down and go for walks with the girls or take them out back. BUT then I think about how I only get these snuggles for so long, I think about how much I love her cute little face and that I can just sit there and watch her nap. I love how I get to watch so many movies and get so many crossed off my streaming/new to watch lists. I also kind of love how much she loves to be around me (and her wake up face is the absolute cutest). But I do stress out a TON about how things are going to go when I go back to work and if I'm setting her up for bad napping habbits (stressing about this is a HUGE understatement - I'm going to have napping PTSD with the next kid).

This Month:  Breastfeeding has definitely been a learning curve for us. It's like having a new baby all over again and not feeling like a seasoned mom has been tough some days. I hate that I haven't really kept track of how I put the girls down to nap before, because Lucy fights it SO hard. She hates the cradle hold (unless she JUST woke up), she won't lay on my shoulder so I can rock/pat her back (unless she just ate and we're burping her), she prefers to eat every 2 hours, rather than 3 (except at night, she'll sleep pretty decently at night). It's been a struggle and the biggest thing to give me anxiety this time around. We've already talked about with the next baby we're going to give them a binky right from the start, I plan to nurse until my milk comes in and then we're going to either switch to bottles or I'll have Larry feed them bottles more often and I won't be scared to include formula if needed and then I can have Larry do Saturday nights from the beginning AND maybe another night throughout the week (if I need it for my sanity). I might do 50/50 bottles/nursing so they don't only expect to nurse from me (I've only given Lucy like 2 bottles and both cases were stressful for me). I will say it's been nice to be able to comfort her with the boob if she's fussy and it's easy to control naps with nursing, but the hard parts are REALLY hard (I read someone say breastfeeding is harder than being pregnant and labor combined and I couldn't agree more!).

I had my 6 week checkup and got some more (kind of bad) news, my ab split is pretty bad and isn't in the greatest condition if we want more kids (which we would like ONE more....if I can convince myself to do this again haha). So my midwife suggested I go see a physical therapist to help get it back into better shape. She mentioned I will need surgery to repair it completely (which I wasn't surprised about as my hernia is quite large and would already make it impossible for my abs to go completely back together). So I decided I probably shouldn't work out and make my abs worse until I go see the PT to get it repaired. That was hard because I was looking forward to working out again, but it kind of also was a relief since I felt like I NEVER had time to workout so at least now I had an excuse that didn't make me feel like I was lazy and could focus on taking care of 3 kiddos.

Around 7 weeks we decided to get some new, different swaddles to help with sleeping at night, this girlie is just so sensitive to movement it seems like and has a hard time going to sleep at night (it takes a few tries). We tried one referred to the 5 second swaddle and we got a full night's rest! It was a miracle! It didn't last long, the next night she slept until 6 AM and then wouldn't go back down. So we're still figuring night time out.

During the day she naps like a champ...as long as she's in my arms and (for most of the time) on the boob. At least I feel a little productive catching up on my podcasts/YouTube subscriptions and nap time movies. A couple days I've been able to rock her to sleep, but those naps don't last too long (especially since the holds don't seem THAT comfortable and the other girls are just so loud). I also got her to nap in the boppy one day (of course I was kind of trying to wake her up because she had already been napping for 2 hours and it was almost time for the next real feed - meaning not just comfort nursing), which only lasted about 30 minutes - but I actually woke her up at that point so who knows how long it would've lasted. I also put her down in the pack n play napper one Sunday, but had to wake her up after an hour for that one as well, because of Skype, so I wonder how long that would've lasted. I was getting pretty stressed a little about how things are going to go when I go back to work and we switch her to bottles and she can't just comfort nurse for naps (have I made the stressed feeling clear yet?? haha). 

Then things came to a breaking point. Two nights ago she woke up at 3 for her night feed. I changed her, re-swaddled her, and fed her and then she would NOT go back down to bed. She was up every 30 minutes. I realized she just wanted to comfort nurse so I decided to do the side-lay position - that is AWFUL. I couldn't sleep a wink. I rested, but couldn't actually sleep. It was miserable!! Then last night she started doing the same thing and I had told Larry that I was never going to side lay nurse again, I'd just keep putting her down until she went to bed, but after 3 attempts last night I realized because she's resting while nursing she's getting a reset and could potentially do that for too long. I finally caved and grabbed one of the pacifiers in her bassinet that we hadn't tried yet and gave it to her - she immediately took it and fell back asleep. Oh my gosh! It was like the heavens opened up and sang to me! It took me a little bit to get her to keep it in her mouth (as usual), but she finally fell asleep and I got another hour and a half of sleep. Oh it was glorious! I decided I will not fight the binky with future children. I will let them get their sucking comfort and be happy and I'll be sane! I don't know why I was so against it so much this time. 

The only (new and real) unfortunate thing this time is at her 2 month appointment they had me fill out the PPD survey again and they said I'm bordering on it this time (I guess any score over 10 is worrisome to them and I'm right at 10). I told them it was just breastfeeding, it's just SO hard and I KNOW it could be easier if we switched to bottles, but I've been too nervous how I'd put her down for naps if we did that. Now that she's taking the binky I'm feeling so much better and less stressed and I think it'll be better from here on out! 

So now for my last month of leave I plan to work more on her napping independently and (maybe) me putting her down with a bottle so that transition will be smooth and get out of the depression. I look forward to many more months with Lucy and can already tell I'll be emotional when I'm done nursing and won't be around all day long (emotional, but like 10% relieved haha).

This is how I look all day every day these days...

...Except when we go out and I put a hat on

Update on last month's goals:

• Get her used to a routine with bottles: we haven't started bottles yet, I've been trying to make breastfeeding work for as long as possible. I swear every 3 days I'm like "let's switch to bottles", but then I give in to keeping up with nursing. 
• Get more used to how to put her down for a nap and get her on a schedule: Nope...we tried to get her used to being put down for naps at 7 weeks and she still fought it. She would only take short naps in the pack n play. On me she'd nap for an hour, at least, sometimes even 2 hours. 
• Look forward to coos and smile: oh she's VERY smiley when she's awake and has had a good nap and her coos are to DIE for! She almost laughs at me when she's in a REALLY good mood. I absolutely love those times!
• Get her down by 8 every night: we get her to sleep by 8, but since she wakes up a few more times, I don't count her "down down" until she's down for good around 9. Hoping she'll get that figured out quickly. (she has had a couple nights now that she's stayed down, but we'll see if that sticks)
• Get her used to Tummy Time: yeah she HATES tummy time. I try and do it every day for as long as she'll stand it, but I'm lucky if we get to a full minute.
• Get back into working out on a regular schedule (for mom): I unfortunately had to cancel this goal while I'm working with a physical therapist on my abs.
• Start neck workouts (for Lucy): We've done this a couple times. She doesn't love them, but at least it's a good alternative to tummy time - for neck control at least.
• Maybe get her grasping toys: she does GREAT on the play mat grabbing the dangling stars from her elephant. I swear she aims for that toy every time she's on that particular mat.
• Get dad used to putting her down for bed and naps: bed time we can check off. He puts her down with a bottle every other night so I can have a chance to breath and catch up on things without being stuck to the room. Naps...well that's still an iffy one.

Goals for next month:

• Help Lucy find her hands more and take the binky for naps more.
• Get her used to being put down for naps (rather than napping on mom ALL day long)
• Get her more used to bed time and being down by 8
• Get her used to bottles and a little formula (officially since I am returning to work before she's 3 months)
• Work more on tummy time!!