If I knew then, what I know now

With this being my 4th baby I feel like I'm learning things I wish I had known earlier. For example:

• Babies NEED snuggles and to be held. It's a big comfort thing for them. They spent 9 months being warm, full, and cuddled in your belly. To suddenly feel hunger, feel a dirty diaper, get cold, not be naturally rocked to sleep, it's a very hard transition for them. To expect them to just know how to sleep on their own or just get over it isn't something they know how to do. The fact that I stressed out about it before feels so silly and I wish I had embraced the cuddles more (especially with Cara and Gwen...I don't remember snuggling with them as much).
  
  
• Creating a to-do list for each day. Not with anything big, but just small things I'd like to get done each day. It really helped me feel productive, which is very important to me to feel a bit more sane each day
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Affirmations help SO much! I made sure to write a bunch down before Pierce was born and they have been so nice to have. Just anything that helps keep your mind focused right on what's important, instead of stressing about what you don't get to do anymore or anything like that. Some of my favorite ones have been:
  
  
• If it takes 120 days to get used to this baby, that's only 30% of the year. Still have 244 more day/70% left to do fun stuff
  
• 6 months is barely 1% of your whole life or 5% of the next 10 years (if I live to be 80...that's my plan haha)
  
• Take this one moment at a time
  
• Today is one day. I have the rest of my life (and theirs) to be the mom I want to be.
• Release your expectation of perfection (this one REALLY helped me)
  
• Just take 5-10 deep, slow breaths (I do this anytime I'm stressed and it really helps)
  
• This is temporary
• Focus on what NEEDS to be done, rather than what you WANT to be done
• If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are stressed/anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present
• A diaper must be uncomfortable after 9 months suspended naked in fluid; cribs must be cold after 3 trimesters of warmth; hunger must be unpleasant when your belly was always full in the womb. You are not spoiling the baby, you are being their warmth, comfort, and security.
  
  
• Taking turns with the night shifts is so helpful to get more sleep. I fought this with each baby prior to Pierce and I wish I hadn't. I wish I had realized that as long as you do the same general routine, it really doesn't matter where they fall asleep for half the night. You can keep the routine and change the location once you are ready for it. It saved my sanity at the beginning of the postpartum period this time around.
  
  
• Pick whichever shows/movies will help keep you calm. Before I'd pick one show and keep to it, never deviate. This time if I didn't feel like watching it for the night feedings or when he wanted to be snuggled and I felt like I couldn't sleep, I'd just pick a different one that sounded good. Again, not sure why I didn't do this before, but it's been nice this time around.
  
  
• Taking breaks away from the other kids/chaos and going upstairs to get back into a routine is more than okay! I had a hard time with this during my previous times, but this time I've embraced being alone with him when I can.
  
  
• Learning patience and being more in the moment and realizing you'll get into a routine eventually is the best way to go about it. I can't tell you how much the first month I'd see someone doing something I usually would wish I could do, but realizing I'd rather be snuggling with my baby. I just made a list of things I look forward to doing again one day and that helped me realize it's there and I'll get to it when we both feel ready.
  
  
• Speaking of that, I've been really embracing each "back to normal" moment that happens. Like going out to get candy for popcorn and candy night. Being able to have a family dinner together, having mac n cheese Wednesdays. Things we did before having a baby. Might not be a big deal, but those little things make me so happy. I've made a list of ones to look forward to that mean we're getting even more back into our normal routine haha.