So this past weekend we were cleaning out our extra room (I'm on a de-clutter our home mission this month), well I happened to find all my older journals (I used to keep journals all the time. I know, such a shocker since I have this blog!) and I happened upon this letter I wrote right after Papa died and wanted to share here:
To my Papa,
First off, I want you to know how much I love you. I wish I could show you since finding the right words will be tough, but I'm up to the challenge. You meant the world to me. I honestly don't even want to imagine what my life would be like without you in it. Where would I be? It's terrifying. Anyone who got even a second to meet you is a lucky person.
You had such a good heart! Such a great outlook on life! I don't think I have a single memory of you not happy or cheerful or making someone laugh. I'm so sorry you had to go through so much pain! You were such a good person and you will live on in all of our hearts that way. You didn't deserve to suffer.
I want you to know, and always remember, that you were a huge influence in my life. Because of you I'm going to college, I'm doing my best to be a good person instead of dancing for dollar bills or shooting myself up. You made it so easy to want that stuff, instead of feeling obligated to do it.
I promise to keep doing my best in any and all endeavors I take on. You inspire and motivate me and just because physically you're not around, that doesn't mean my goals have lessened. If anything they've become stronger, as has my determination.
I love you Papa, with every bone and fiber in my body. You will be missed and loved, but never forgotten.
Love you!
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